Hahaha, my friends, I tell you these things today with one hand in my pocket holding onto a small bird Jean Francois found while buying a fake beard!
It is of course that time for me to reveal the secret to a 12 minute erection. But Jean Francois, why would one require an erection for 12 minutes you may be asking to yourself? This is why I will explain to you these things.
12 minutes is exactly one half of an episode of 2 and a half men, without of course the commercials. I have found that this program is subliminally erotic to many many women.
Using the mind you can control many things, including of course your pants plumbing. Think about the number 12, 12 eggs, 12 fingers and toes, 12 pounds of meat, so many things come in units of this magical number.
I hope this has become abundantly clear to you all today and wish you success on the 12 minute erection.
I am
Workplace Relationsexing
Hahahaha...my friends! I am laughing so hard, half my ass is falling out of the pant!
Now be serious with me as I speak to you about these things.
Workplace relationships are a very important way to of course get more ass. You have to spend so many hours with these annoying wimins that sometimes you need to shut them up with by putting the cock inside them somewhere.
There is of course always caution which is important, as unlike Jean Francois you are semi mortal man that may in fact need the job in question. There is always ways around these things though.
What Jean Francois would like you to do right now is think of a wimins from your work that you think would like to fuck you. Of course it is probably all of them, but think of one that perhaps you would also like to become the balls deep with.
There. Now here is the thing about these things.
Jean Francois recently started a new job in a large city firm. Of course there are many girls that work in this place and it is for this that Jean Francois has of course been thinking of who and where some of the fucking could happen with. Lets start with the unusually large breasted, structurally unsound Asian human resources woman. Yes of course Jean Francois would like to bone miss Saigon, however, how to become sneaky is the problem many men will face and that's all about it.
Firstly you need to let the girl know that she has been chosen. I suggest getting her cell number is the first step. Having her cell number begins a many different ways you can inform the girl that she is on the mind therefore, with any luck, she can then be on the cock also.
Never do this until you have had the number for at least 3-4 days, but what is a great conversation starter is a short text message at 2am that says "Want to grab a pizza and watch a movie?" Of course she will not reply, as it is 2am and also if she does read it will think you are crazy. However, sometimes they reply...but this is rare. Either way...if they reply, you say that you sent it to the wrong person, namely her because you had a few drinks, or if they don't reply...never bring this up yourself. Because you 'sent it to the wrong person, you forgot all about it'.
Either way...the girl now knows that you like to party at 2am. Continue the friendship and one day she will bring it up and then you of course explain that you were with friends and other things, just make shit up is what Jean Francois would do. You see, the girls at the work are different to regular girls, but now she will look at you differently to the other people in the work and of course this will increase the chances for ass.
This technique has worked 2/6 attempts for Jean Francois to have sex with 7 days of sending the text message.
These are good odds my friends.
I am
Now be serious with me as I speak to you about these things.
Workplace relationships are a very important way to of course get more ass. You have to spend so many hours with these annoying wimins that sometimes you need to shut them up with by putting the cock inside them somewhere.
There is of course always caution which is important, as unlike Jean Francois you are semi mortal man that may in fact need the job in question. There is always ways around these things though.
What Jean Francois would like you to do right now is think of a wimins from your work that you think would like to fuck you. Of course it is probably all of them, but think of one that perhaps you would also like to become the balls deep with.
There. Now here is the thing about these things.
Jean Francois recently started a new job in a large city firm. Of course there are many girls that work in this place and it is for this that Jean Francois has of course been thinking of who and where some of the fucking could happen with. Lets start with the unusually large breasted, structurally unsound Asian human resources woman. Yes of course Jean Francois would like to bone miss Saigon, however, how to become sneaky is the problem many men will face and that's all about it.
Firstly you need to let the girl know that she has been chosen. I suggest getting her cell number is the first step. Having her cell number begins a many different ways you can inform the girl that she is on the mind therefore, with any luck, she can then be on the cock also.
Never do this until you have had the number for at least 3-4 days, but what is a great conversation starter is a short text message at 2am that says "Want to grab a pizza and watch a movie?" Of course she will not reply, as it is 2am and also if she does read it will think you are crazy. However, sometimes they reply...but this is rare. Either way...if they reply, you say that you sent it to the wrong person, namely her because you had a few drinks, or if they don't reply...never bring this up yourself. Because you 'sent it to the wrong person, you forgot all about it'.
Either way...the girl now knows that you like to party at 2am. Continue the friendship and one day she will bring it up and then you of course explain that you were with friends and other things, just make shit up is what Jean Francois would do. You see, the girls at the work are different to regular girls, but now she will look at you differently to the other people in the work and of course this will increase the chances for ass.
This technique has worked 2/6 attempts for Jean Francois to have sex with 7 days of sending the text message.
These are good odds my friends.
I am
Home Maintenance For Blowjobs
Jean Francois is handy with man tools, like the hammer and of course the spatula. It is for this that there was a time in Jean Francois life that a beautiful Thai girl named Marion invited the 'friendly and helpful' Jean Francois in to take a look at some recent damage to a wall that had been made while moving her collection of ships in a bottle upstairs.
Jean Francois refuses to knock on doors, so to let Marion know that I had arrived at her home I began to take a leak on her downstairs window. This is a very effective way to get someones attention who might not normally come to the door.
Unfortunately for Marion's perennials it was a morning after beer piss so even after she had answered the door, Jean Francois needed a few more minutes to get all of the poisons out of the internal piss tanker.
"Hello Marion, I am Jean Francois and I have come to receive the blowjob for these things" I mumbled. "Certainly Jean Francois, right this way and of course the blowjobs are for this and you" is what I thought she said, Jean Francois was of course not listening but rather looking around the house at all of the junk this ass with legs and other body parts had collected.
As Marion prepared Easter eggs and beer for a well earned morning snack, Jean Francois finished up the repair work with one final stroke of the putty. "It would be nice to receive the blowjobs now" I mentioned, as Marion eagerly scratched a losing lottery ticket.
As Marion was busy basting the Jean Junk, I found it amusing to make tiny balls with the Easter egg tinfoil wrapping and feed it to her fish in the nearby aquarium.
Ah, good job me, who is of course Jean Francois!
I am
Jean Francois refuses to knock on doors, so to let Marion know that I had arrived at her home I began to take a leak on her downstairs window. This is a very effective way to get someones attention who might not normally come to the door.
Unfortunately for Marion's perennials it was a morning after beer piss so even after she had answered the door, Jean Francois needed a few more minutes to get all of the poisons out of the internal piss tanker.
"Hello Marion, I am Jean Francois and I have come to receive the blowjob for these things" I mumbled. "Certainly Jean Francois, right this way and of course the blowjobs are for this and you" is what I thought she said, Jean Francois was of course not listening but rather looking around the house at all of the junk this ass with legs and other body parts had collected.
As Marion prepared Easter eggs and beer for a well earned morning snack, Jean Francois finished up the repair work with one final stroke of the putty. "It would be nice to receive the blowjobs now" I mentioned, as Marion eagerly scratched a losing lottery ticket.
As Marion was busy basting the Jean Junk, I found it amusing to make tiny balls with the Easter egg tinfoil wrapping and feed it to her fish in the nearby aquarium.
Ah, good job me, who is of course Jean Francois!
I am
Smoking During The Sex
It is true and you may have heard many times how couples enjoy the cigarette after the sex, Jean Francois has begun smoking during the fuck, therefore when you are finished, the girl will leave sooner because the smoking part of sex is completed.
Let me explain to you these things.
Jean Francois first came up with this idea while having a fucking with an annoying blond taxidermist named Charmaine Slattery. She would insist on us enjoying the delicious cigarette together after every time we come. Of course Jean Francois is not one for small talk with girls 'after' the fucking, instead, Jean Francois prefers to leave, to find new girls for of course, more fucking.
I have found that when the girl is on top, this is the best time to light up. It also gives one an opportunity to time the fucking, how long the girl gets to spend on the cock in any one position. Jean Francois generally allows the girl around five to six minutes per position, or one cigarette to enjoy the cock then I like to change. Sometimes this is also a good rule as you can imagine you are fucking another girl when you change a lot and that's all about it.
Keep your cigarettes in your bum bag so you always have them close by. How to wear a bum bag while fucking is of course another story which I shall share with you soon. But for now, to save time and to keep the girl in her place, try smoking during the fucking and watch your confidence grow and hers dissipate to zero, where it should be.
I am
Let me explain to you these things.
Jean Francois first came up with this idea while having a fucking with an annoying blond taxidermist named Charmaine Slattery. She would insist on us enjoying the delicious cigarette together after every time we come. Of course Jean Francois is not one for small talk with girls 'after' the fucking, instead, Jean Francois prefers to leave, to find new girls for of course, more fucking.
I have found that when the girl is on top, this is the best time to light up. It also gives one an opportunity to time the fucking, how long the girl gets to spend on the cock in any one position. Jean Francois generally allows the girl around five to six minutes per position, or one cigarette to enjoy the cock then I like to change. Sometimes this is also a good rule as you can imagine you are fucking another girl when you change a lot and that's all about it.
Keep your cigarettes in your bum bag so you always have them close by. How to wear a bum bag while fucking is of course another story which I shall share with you soon. But for now, to save time and to keep the girl in her place, try smoking during the fucking and watch your confidence grow and hers dissipate to zero, where it should be.
I am
Hahaha I am Jean Francois
Yes it is true, I am Jean Francois and it is for this that I return to you my friends after a many wonder journey into the caverns of the world!
Let me tell you these things. It has been sometime before Jean Francois has found the time to regale his many wonderful stories because I have been in the rehab. Yes, I volunteered in order to meet beautiful women that will do anything for a taste! Hahaha
Kelly Farnsworth a checkout operator from up state checked her perfect ass in to Golden Meadows Rehabilitation Clinic just over a month ago. She brought along her family and they lovingly said goodbye to their daughter as she was to begin her quest to rid herself of the dependency of the alcohol. As you are aware, Jean Francois is an alcoholic so it was expected that I should take Kelly under my wing.
After meeting Kelly's family and promising them the world they left Kelly and I to get familiar with each other. As I removed the pant Kelly gasped! "Jean Francois, why do you remove the pant?!" She squealed. I took Kelly onto the knee and brushed her alcoholic hair some. You see, pantless Jean Francois is as soothing as chamomile tea.
As we made love on a spare wheelchair I began to think about a cloud I'd seen earlier that day that resembled a boat with giant frogs legs attached to it, as I laughed hysterically, Kelly came all over Jean Francois and of course was cured of her alcohol addiction. Unfortunately now she is addicted to Jean Francois, so I had to leave Golden Meadows and now I work in a soup kitchen 'helping' the cities homeless beauties.
I am
Let me tell you these things. It has been sometime before Jean Francois has found the time to regale his many wonderful stories because I have been in the rehab. Yes, I volunteered in order to meet beautiful women that will do anything for a taste! Hahaha
Kelly Farnsworth a checkout operator from up state checked her perfect ass in to Golden Meadows Rehabilitation Clinic just over a month ago. She brought along her family and they lovingly said goodbye to their daughter as she was to begin her quest to rid herself of the dependency of the alcohol. As you are aware, Jean Francois is an alcoholic so it was expected that I should take Kelly under my wing.
After meeting Kelly's family and promising them the world they left Kelly and I to get familiar with each other. As I removed the pant Kelly gasped! "Jean Francois, why do you remove the pant?!" She squealed. I took Kelly onto the knee and brushed her alcoholic hair some. You see, pantless Jean Francois is as soothing as chamomile tea.
As we made love on a spare wheelchair I began to think about a cloud I'd seen earlier that day that resembled a boat with giant frogs legs attached to it, as I laughed hysterically, Kelly came all over Jean Francois and of course was cured of her alcohol addiction. Unfortunately now she is addicted to Jean Francois, so I had to leave Golden Meadows and now I work in a soup kitchen 'helping' the cities homeless beauties.
I am
Mr T interview
My friends, Mr T came to Jean Francois late last night, flying into my room on his custom 12" ruler. Of course I had many questions for Mr T as I'm sure many of you do, but what to ask such a great man, a man that practically raised me as his own?
What you are about to read is the transcript of that very night, join with me now these things!
"Hello Mr T, I am Jean Francois. I have a few questions for you if you don't mind?". "Do you know me? Of course you do. 'Cause I'm famous!" He bellowed as he landed perfectly on my pillow and cuddled into my neck. Mr T looked up at me sternly, "I'm teaching fools some basic rules" he said. "It's like my mother says: I have a gift of the words. Maybe I'm charming. But it is a gift. I have seven brothers, and they're introverts. I'm an extrovert. I love people". Yes Mr T of course, but what brings you to my bedroom tonight my friend and why are you riding a tiny flying ruler? "I made a little money. And like the Bible says, I was enjoying the fruits of my labor. This is my comeback. This is me doing what I love to do!"
As Mr T took off his Jean shorts I rolled over onto my elbow and asked what it was like being a gay man in the 80's in Hollywood: "I am the best bodyguard, because I'll take a bullet, I'll take a stab wound, I'll take a hit upside the head; I'm like a Kamikaze pilot; The President got shot because his men relaxed!"
Funny you should mention being a bodyguard Mr T, did you ever have to fight like a man? "See, if I come into a black neighborhood and say, "Thanks for watching my show," and give out high fives and all that, I'm not doing no good. I go out and see a kid grabbing his crotch. Ain't nobody telling them that. Where do they get it from? They watch MTV. I say, "If you wash up more often, you won't have to grab your crotch." I'm telling these guys, "Why you gotta grab your crotch?" Then you see Michael Jackson grabbing his crotch 50 times. What's with him?"
Hahaha yes Mr T you are right on the money...what is with that asshole? The children Mr T, tell me about the children: "I want Balboa! I want Balboa! You hear that, Old Man? You tell Balboa I'm comin' to him! Nobody can beat me! You tell him what I said! And he's NEXT! I'm gonna kill him! Nobody can stop me! You tell Balboa that! I'M COMING AFTER HIM! YOU TELL HIM!"
I think everyone has their own Balboa Mr T, mine is a annoying paper boy named David. I've seen you on the TV a lot lately in commercials and things which leads me to ask, what is in the future for the T? "For 5 years Mr. T disappeared. Fools went unpitied and Jibba-Jabba went unchallenged!"
Can you tell me the first thing that comes to your mind when I say these words:
Candy: "Hey, you with the teeth!"
Hoola Hoops: "My lunch cost $35!"
Sports cars: "Where's the meat!"
Lemonade: "Hey woman!"
The internet: "I'm tired of your crazy rap!"
It was at that point Mr T straddled his ruler, "I got no time for the jibba-jabba!" He waved to Jean Francois, his tiny cock and balls shrunken from the chilly winter air.
*Sigh* was it a dream and that's all about it? Or will Mr T fly in through my window again one wishful night? Maybe he left his jean shorts behind on purpose, to one day return. They remain hanging in my closet my tiny flying friend.
I am
What you are about to read is the transcript of that very night, join with me now these things!
"Hello Mr T, I am Jean Francois. I have a few questions for you if you don't mind?". "Do you know me? Of course you do. 'Cause I'm famous!" He bellowed as he landed perfectly on my pillow and cuddled into my neck. Mr T looked up at me sternly, "I'm teaching fools some basic rules" he said. "It's like my mother says: I have a gift of the words. Maybe I'm charming. But it is a gift. I have seven brothers, and they're introverts. I'm an extrovert. I love people". Yes Mr T of course, but what brings you to my bedroom tonight my friend and why are you riding a tiny flying ruler? "I made a little money. And like the Bible says, I was enjoying the fruits of my labor. This is my comeback. This is me doing what I love to do!"
As Mr T took off his Jean shorts I rolled over onto my elbow and asked what it was like being a gay man in the 80's in Hollywood: "I am the best bodyguard, because I'll take a bullet, I'll take a stab wound, I'll take a hit upside the head; I'm like a Kamikaze pilot; The President got shot because his men relaxed!"
Funny you should mention being a bodyguard Mr T, did you ever have to fight like a man? "See, if I come into a black neighborhood and say, "Thanks for watching my show," and give out high fives and all that, I'm not doing no good. I go out and see a kid grabbing his crotch. Ain't nobody telling them that. Where do they get it from? They watch MTV. I say, "If you wash up more often, you won't have to grab your crotch." I'm telling these guys, "Why you gotta grab your crotch?" Then you see Michael Jackson grabbing his crotch 50 times. What's with him?"
Hahaha yes Mr T you are right on the money...what is with that asshole? The children Mr T, tell me about the children: "I want Balboa! I want Balboa! You hear that, Old Man? You tell Balboa I'm comin' to him! Nobody can beat me! You tell him what I said! And he's NEXT! I'm gonna kill him! Nobody can stop me! You tell Balboa that! I'M COMING AFTER HIM! YOU TELL HIM!"
I think everyone has their own Balboa Mr T, mine is a annoying paper boy named David. I've seen you on the TV a lot lately in commercials and things which leads me to ask, what is in the future for the T? "For 5 years Mr. T disappeared. Fools went unpitied and Jibba-Jabba went unchallenged!"
Can you tell me the first thing that comes to your mind when I say these words:
Candy: "Hey, you with the teeth!"
Hoola Hoops: "My lunch cost $35!"
Sports cars: "Where's the meat!"
Lemonade: "Hey woman!"
The internet: "I'm tired of your crazy rap!"
It was at that point Mr T straddled his ruler, "I got no time for the jibba-jabba!" He waved to Jean Francois, his tiny cock and balls shrunken from the chilly winter air.
*Sigh* was it a dream and that's all about it? Or will Mr T fly in through my window again one wishful night? Maybe he left his jean shorts behind on purpose, to one day return. They remain hanging in my closet my tiny flying friend.
I am
Asbestos The Cat
My friends I am very suspicious of my tiny floor friend Asbestos the Cat. You see, I believe he lives a double identity fighting the crime while I sleep!
Let me tell you these things.
Early one morning Jean Francois awoke to a tremendous crashing sound! I grabbed a handful of shaving cream and a tambourine and rushed downstairs. It appeared that a window had been smashed and there was glass all around and that's when I noticed that there were shreds of cape caught in the glass shards! Straight away I knew it was Asbestos The Cat! I look toward him, sitting smuggly preening his tiny, fluffy package still wearing his checkered tights. "I know it is you Asbestos The Cat, I know it is you fighting the crime!" I screamed. My first thought was to find his cape and throw it in the trash so dramatically that he will never fight the crime again! But how could I stop him, how can I, Jean Francois make that decision?
"Oh god, Asbestos the Cat!" I cried, tears pouring down my face. I collapsed in the corner, drained of life, but still alive.
Jean Francois awoke a few hours later with his hand in a glass of warm water wearing a piss soaked tuxedo t-shirt! Hahahaha very funny Asbestos The Cat!
I am
Let me tell you these things.
Early one morning Jean Francois awoke to a tremendous crashing sound! I grabbed a handful of shaving cream and a tambourine and rushed downstairs. It appeared that a window had been smashed and there was glass all around and that's when I noticed that there were shreds of cape caught in the glass shards! Straight away I knew it was Asbestos The Cat! I look toward him, sitting smuggly preening his tiny, fluffy package still wearing his checkered tights. "I know it is you Asbestos The Cat, I know it is you fighting the crime!" I screamed. My first thought was to find his cape and throw it in the trash so dramatically that he will never fight the crime again! But how could I stop him, how can I, Jean Francois make that decision?
"Oh god, Asbestos the Cat!" I cried, tears pouring down my face. I collapsed in the corner, drained of life, but still alive.
Jean Francois awoke a few hours later with his hand in a glass of warm water wearing a piss soaked tuxedo t-shirt! Hahahaha very funny Asbestos The Cat!
I am
Arse
Yes my friends, here I will answer any questions you have ever had and of course the definition of the arse.
Arse: or "Ars" is the scientific word for ass. The term was coined by scientists thousands of years ago and written in many important books. Once thought extinct, an arse was spotted by an American television crew in London's South in 1994 during the filming of a very intellectual documentary. Since that discovery, breeding of arses in captivity has all but ended due to many more millions appearing across the globe.
So, what is an arse Jean Francois? Funny you should ask. Well it is very similar to the ass, however the arse is found in European countries and places like the land down under. The oldest arse ever found was deep in a volcano in South America, leading scientists to believe that the arse is actually older than man! It is also thought that Egyptians used their arses building the great pyramids and used the arse much the way we do today in the future.
It's time to get scientific with you now:
The arse has two main cheeks made of large muscles, known as Arse Muscles > arse mussels and differing amounts of fat, much the same as an ass. They can also be big or small, flat or round. They both only have the one hole. The arse has also been used for smuggling different prohibited substances across boarders almost as long as prohibited substances have existed. Also, as new prohibited substances become available, the arse continues to be the number choice for carriage. I guess the only difference I can see between the arse and the ass is the spelling and the accent that comes out of the mouth hole.
Here are some fun ways to use the arse:
Arsehole (found in a similar place as the asshole)
Arsey (Clever)
Arsehat (Derogatory name calling)
Arse master (A piece of exercise equipment; also a name Jean Francois has been referred)
I hope you enjoyed this journey as we looked deep inside an arse.
I am
Arse: or "Ars" is the scientific word for ass. The term was coined by scientists thousands of years ago and written in many important books. Once thought extinct, an arse was spotted by an American television crew in London's South in 1994 during the filming of a very intellectual documentary. Since that discovery, breeding of arses in captivity has all but ended due to many more millions appearing across the globe.
So, what is an arse Jean Francois? Funny you should ask. Well it is very similar to the ass, however the arse is found in European countries and places like the land down under. The oldest arse ever found was deep in a volcano in South America, leading scientists to believe that the arse is actually older than man! It is also thought that Egyptians used their arses building the great pyramids and used the arse much the way we do today in the future.
It's time to get scientific with you now:
The arse has two main cheeks made of large muscles, known as Arse Muscles > arse mussels and differing amounts of fat, much the same as an ass. They can also be big or small, flat or round. They both only have the one hole. The arse has also been used for smuggling different prohibited substances across boarders almost as long as prohibited substances have existed. Also, as new prohibited substances become available, the arse continues to be the number choice for carriage. I guess the only difference I can see between the arse and the ass is the spelling and the accent that comes out of the mouth hole.
Here are some fun ways to use the arse:
Arsehole (found in a similar place as the asshole)
Arsey (Clever)
Arsehat (Derogatory name calling)
Arse master (A piece of exercise equipment; also a name Jean Francois has been referred)
I hope you enjoyed this journey as we looked deep inside an arse.
I am
Love
Hahaha Hello my friends! As you can tell, this is a very wonder day for Jean Francois as it is the anniversary of my first true loves passing after she suffered a tragic yet very youtube worthy death from a terrible side show ride gone horribly wrong.
Travel with me now, back in time to when Jean Francois was 3 years old, too old to know better, too young to know why. It was a very beautiful life changing experience for me. Jean Francois rarely falls in love, however at 3 years of age, I knew no different and followed my heart and a hypnotizing set of car keys.
I of course already had a full time job and that is where I met Karen the midwife. You see, Jean Francois had already mastered the art of delivering children, after all, at that time it was only 3 years earlier that I in fact lived behind the meat curtains, so who better to have welcoming a child than someone that had recent experience and that's all about it?
Before Karen, my passions lay with things that spin and a pillow named 'toot toot'. It was during the 14 hour labor of Sonia Marsden the soon to be single mother, that Karen and I first realized our undying passion for each other. .
What strange power flamed this furnace of desire drawing us close to the brink of exploding into each others arms? Maybe it was my cute white coat, or the bright yellow and green novelty stethoscope or my full sleeve tattooed muscular arms. Was it her wonderful bed manner that charmed Jean Francois, or her pretty bra that I peaked at each time she bent over. Of course I will never know as I was 3 years old. Who can tell, who can deny love my friends?
Needless to say, I was powerless inside that tiny mustached body to supply ultimate pleasure and it is for this that to this very day I am still very wonder.
Karen died 7 years later, of an unusually bad case of being decapitated by a roller coaster at a county fair. I could not make the funeral. But our love lives on.
I am
Travel with me now, back in time to when Jean Francois was 3 years old, too old to know better, too young to know why. It was a very beautiful life changing experience for me. Jean Francois rarely falls in love, however at 3 years of age, I knew no different and followed my heart and a hypnotizing set of car keys.
I of course already had a full time job and that is where I met Karen the midwife. You see, Jean Francois had already mastered the art of delivering children, after all, at that time it was only 3 years earlier that I in fact lived behind the meat curtains, so who better to have welcoming a child than someone that had recent experience and that's all about it?
Before Karen, my passions lay with things that spin and a pillow named 'toot toot'. It was during the 14 hour labor of Sonia Marsden the soon to be single mother, that Karen and I first realized our undying passion for each other. .
What strange power flamed this furnace of desire drawing us close to the brink of exploding into each others arms? Maybe it was my cute white coat, or the bright yellow and green novelty stethoscope or my full sleeve tattooed muscular arms. Was it her wonderful bed manner that charmed Jean Francois, or her pretty bra that I peaked at each time she bent over. Of course I will never know as I was 3 years old. Who can tell, who can deny love my friends?
Needless to say, I was powerless inside that tiny mustached body to supply ultimate pleasure and it is for this that to this very day I am still very wonder.
Karen died 7 years later, of an unusually bad case of being decapitated by a roller coaster at a county fair. I could not make the funeral. But our love lives on.
I am
Online dating
Hahaha hello again my friends it is time for Jean Francois to tell you about online dating and the mysteries it presents. I have spoken to many people, both males who have had success from these sites as well as women who have told me why they chose particular profiles over others.
Grab a pencil and join with me now, as Jean Francois presents the secrets of online dating revealed:
* On the main profile, have a clear, recent photo of YOURSELF, well dressed, smiling and looking like you're having a good time. No nude pics EVER, in fact if you insist on putting a picture of yourself shirtless have it by request only and forewarn the lady suitor.
* Do not mention ex girlfriends or hardship on your profile.
* Speak passionately about things you enjoy. Show that you have spirit. But choose what it is you are passionate about wisely. If it is the annual trip away with the friends to a car race where you fuck many hookers and get drunk, then perhaps change that to "I love traveling to new places and seeing the sites, trying the foods and everything the community has to offer"
* Be honest, don't mention that you drive a Ferrari or you have climbed the great wall of China if you haven't these things. Chances are if you say you have climbed the great wall they will ask you about it, or you may attract a sister climber, then what will you say? If you drive a very shitty car and you are poor, mention something along the lines of not being materialistic and you prefer to walk when possible. Keeping it green = ass
* Fill in as much of the dating profile as you can. With music and movies don't be specific, use genre and style, like thriller, comedy, drama, dance music, classics etc. etc. This of course can stimulate conversation and shows you are cultured, even if you had to Google it for the sake of ass.
* Keep a diary of who you met, their phone numbers etc. If you are playing the field, perhaps even a note about what you did on the date.
* Be confident to tell them you liked their profile. Tell/ask them something from it to prove you read it. Mention her picture but mention you first noticed her beautiful hair or that she has great shoulders or what she is wearing. Avoid mentioning eyes, mouth, tits, ass etc. Be different but not creepy. Say, "You have great shoulders" she will reply confused, "Oh, why's that?" Be vague, so the conversation ends after this "Not sure, they just stood out", new topic. Guaranteed when she gets offline she will look in the mirror and rub one out. I call that giving her pant heat.
* Write on the dating site blogs. Be funny and witty. If you are in a bad mood, avoid the site. Be positive ALL the time.
* Ask them questions, ask them questions they have probably never been asked like "Have you ever water skied and if so, do you prefer one ski or two"? It sounds daft, but if their profile doesn't mention water skiing then I bet she hasn't been asked. You need to find ways to stimulate their minds and be original.
* Don't mention in your profile that you love watching sunsets with that special person or holding hands on the beach or cooking delicious meals for two. The profile is where you talk about you. If you get in with this broad it may be the last time you ever get to speak about yourself and that's all about it!
* Never appear desperate. You just joined up "for some fun" If they ever ask why you joined, tell them a female friend of yours recommended you join because she met dream guy. Shows that chicks can stand to be around you and tell you shit. Pant heat.
* Remember that a dating site is minimum 7-1 male to female ratio. This means you have to stand out. It is numbers game and if you want to succeed you need to focus. Send as many 'I'm interested' things as humanly possible. If the broad doesn't have a picture, send her one anyway asking for one, they're free and there is a slight chance she is beautiful with a perfect ass.
Follow these steps my friends and trust me when I tell you that if you want ass via online dating then this is how you do it.
I am
Grab a pencil and join with me now, as Jean Francois presents the secrets of online dating revealed:
* On the main profile, have a clear, recent photo of YOURSELF, well dressed, smiling and looking like you're having a good time. No nude pics EVER, in fact if you insist on putting a picture of yourself shirtless have it by request only and forewarn the lady suitor.
* Do not mention ex girlfriends or hardship on your profile.
* Speak passionately about things you enjoy. Show that you have spirit. But choose what it is you are passionate about wisely. If it is the annual trip away with the friends to a car race where you fuck many hookers and get drunk, then perhaps change that to "I love traveling to new places and seeing the sites, trying the foods and everything the community has to offer"
* Be honest, don't mention that you drive a Ferrari or you have climbed the great wall of China if you haven't these things. Chances are if you say you have climbed the great wall they will ask you about it, or you may attract a sister climber, then what will you say? If you drive a very shitty car and you are poor, mention something along the lines of not being materialistic and you prefer to walk when possible. Keeping it green = ass
* Fill in as much of the dating profile as you can. With music and movies don't be specific, use genre and style, like thriller, comedy, drama, dance music, classics etc. etc. This of course can stimulate conversation and shows you are cultured, even if you had to Google it for the sake of ass.
* Keep a diary of who you met, their phone numbers etc. If you are playing the field, perhaps even a note about what you did on the date.
* Be confident to tell them you liked their profile. Tell/ask them something from it to prove you read it. Mention her picture but mention you first noticed her beautiful hair or that she has great shoulders or what she is wearing. Avoid mentioning eyes, mouth, tits, ass etc. Be different but not creepy. Say, "You have great shoulders" she will reply confused, "Oh, why's that?" Be vague, so the conversation ends after this "Not sure, they just stood out", new topic. Guaranteed when she gets offline she will look in the mirror and rub one out. I call that giving her pant heat.
* Write on the dating site blogs. Be funny and witty. If you are in a bad mood, avoid the site. Be positive ALL the time.
* Ask them questions, ask them questions they have probably never been asked like "Have you ever water skied and if so, do you prefer one ski or two"? It sounds daft, but if their profile doesn't mention water skiing then I bet she hasn't been asked. You need to find ways to stimulate their minds and be original.
* Don't mention in your profile that you love watching sunsets with that special person or holding hands on the beach or cooking delicious meals for two. The profile is where you talk about you. If you get in with this broad it may be the last time you ever get to speak about yourself and that's all about it!
* Never appear desperate. You just joined up "for some fun" If they ever ask why you joined, tell them a female friend of yours recommended you join because she met dream guy. Shows that chicks can stand to be around you and tell you shit. Pant heat.
* Remember that a dating site is minimum 7-1 male to female ratio. This means you have to stand out. It is numbers game and if you want to succeed you need to focus. Send as many 'I'm interested' things as humanly possible. If the broad doesn't have a picture, send her one anyway asking for one, they're free and there is a slight chance she is beautiful with a perfect ass.
Follow these steps my friends and trust me when I tell you that if you want ass via online dating then this is how you do it.
I am
FREE
Yes my friends, it is true, Jean Francois is free!
You see, during a string of unusual circumstances I awoke this morning dressed as a woman. I found this somewhat of a concern, however not as concerning as the fact the zipper in the back was jammed closed, perhaps even superglued no less!
What was I to do? I went with my gut instinct and put peanut butter on the zipper, nothing! Out of ideas Jean Francois slept for a few more hours, dreaming of being free once again.
I awoke, still dressed as a woman! The precious peanut butter hadn't even loosened the zip to my sarcophagus of hell, was I forever condemned to this size 8 prison cell? One last chance for freedom my friends. I reached for the scissors and quickly coated them in peanut butter.
As I cut into the pretty material, I imagined what it would be like to eat from a trough and shake in the sun like a beautiful racehorse. As I write now, I remember imagining that very time.
FREE, FREE I screamed to the ants enjoying a nutty dress treat! As I gazed at the mighty beasts, they appeared to form there tiny bodies into letters that read: You are Jean Francois. Hahahaha I laughed so long and hard tripping on a house canoe and landing on my tiny friends that compiled the Jean portion of the ant greeting, killing them all instantly. I sat quietly, very wonder and yes, they were right
I am
You see, during a string of unusual circumstances I awoke this morning dressed as a woman. I found this somewhat of a concern, however not as concerning as the fact the zipper in the back was jammed closed, perhaps even superglued no less!
What was I to do? I went with my gut instinct and put peanut butter on the zipper, nothing! Out of ideas Jean Francois slept for a few more hours, dreaming of being free once again.
I awoke, still dressed as a woman! The precious peanut butter hadn't even loosened the zip to my sarcophagus of hell, was I forever condemned to this size 8 prison cell? One last chance for freedom my friends. I reached for the scissors and quickly coated them in peanut butter.
As I cut into the pretty material, I imagined what it would be like to eat from a trough and shake in the sun like a beautiful racehorse. As I write now, I remember imagining that very time.
FREE, FREE I screamed to the ants enjoying a nutty dress treat! As I gazed at the mighty beasts, they appeared to form there tiny bodies into letters that read: You are Jean Francois. Hahahaha I laughed so long and hard tripping on a house canoe and landing on my tiny friends that compiled the Jean portion of the ant greeting, killing them all instantly. I sat quietly, very wonder and yes, they were right
I am
Sexy gym girl
I was in the gym on Saturday and while walking on the treadmill smoking a cigarette the woman in front of me turned in disgust.
I said to her "Hello, I am Jean Francois" as I motored along at level 3, incline 2. (Working the hams and glutes)
This did not sway her and she was very upset, let it be known I was very upset by the amount of perfume and makeup she was wearing, but Jean Francois does not hate.
She bellowed at Jean Francois "I know who you are, Jean Francois god of men, but I don't care! You can't smoke in the gym, especially on the cardio equipment!" I was surprised she didn't mention that I was also drinking a beer and wearing a "Go fuck yourself lady!" T-shirt.
As I kept trudging along adjusting my custom "I am Jean Francois" lifting belt, a crowd was gathering because of the raucous. I waved to all my friends as they perched around the equipment. Sarah Jane, the sub-letting masseuse with the most amazing ass in Capri's was of course furious at this woman's contempt and fluorescent outfit!
I stamped out my cigarette and as it flew off the back of the treadmill, the crazy lady grabbed her towel and stormed off to get the gym manager; Clark, the overweight part time bouncer and gardening expert.
Clark and I have been friends for several years as I say to him "Hello Clark, I am Jean Francois". He asks what the problem is, of course Jean Francois see's no problem as I am a man of peace and ass to mouth.
The woman hides behind Clark, watching Jean Francois like an eagle crossed with a hawk, yes my friends, she wants it bad.
I slow the treadmill to one mile per hour, take off my headphones and turn suddenly, a gasp comes over the crowd, the beauty of Jean Francois is intoxicating I know. A baby cries, why is there a baby on the smith machine...a woman drops to her knees; a natural reaction my friends. I toss beetles wrapped in candy wrappers to the crowd while screaming in a made up language, holding a shell to my ear listening to the ocean and kicking at the air with ferocity!!!
I did this for 11 minutes, then dismounted the treadmill while it was still operating with smoothness.
As Jean Francois walked through the dazed mob, I was handed 14 phone numbers, a can of mountain dew, a North Dakota License plate and a pair of panties, yes my friends, the very panties that belonged to the crazy lady. The panties contained a note:
"Dear Jean Francois. How can a woman be so wrong, forgive me and of course you are granted access to the ass and perhaps immediately after the ass, the mouth"
I am
I said to her "Hello, I am Jean Francois" as I motored along at level 3, incline 2. (Working the hams and glutes)
This did not sway her and she was very upset, let it be known I was very upset by the amount of perfume and makeup she was wearing, but Jean Francois does not hate.
She bellowed at Jean Francois "I know who you are, Jean Francois god of men, but I don't care! You can't smoke in the gym, especially on the cardio equipment!" I was surprised she didn't mention that I was also drinking a beer and wearing a "Go fuck yourself lady!" T-shirt.
As I kept trudging along adjusting my custom "I am Jean Francois" lifting belt, a crowd was gathering because of the raucous. I waved to all my friends as they perched around the equipment. Sarah Jane, the sub-letting masseuse with the most amazing ass in Capri's was of course furious at this woman's contempt and fluorescent outfit!
I stamped out my cigarette and as it flew off the back of the treadmill, the crazy lady grabbed her towel and stormed off to get the gym manager; Clark, the overweight part time bouncer and gardening expert.
Clark and I have been friends for several years as I say to him "Hello Clark, I am Jean Francois". He asks what the problem is, of course Jean Francois see's no problem as I am a man of peace and ass to mouth.
The woman hides behind Clark, watching Jean Francois like an eagle crossed with a hawk, yes my friends, she wants it bad.
I slow the treadmill to one mile per hour, take off my headphones and turn suddenly, a gasp comes over the crowd, the beauty of Jean Francois is intoxicating I know. A baby cries, why is there a baby on the smith machine...a woman drops to her knees; a natural reaction my friends. I toss beetles wrapped in candy wrappers to the crowd while screaming in a made up language, holding a shell to my ear listening to the ocean and kicking at the air with ferocity!!!
I did this for 11 minutes, then dismounted the treadmill while it was still operating with smoothness.
As Jean Francois walked through the dazed mob, I was handed 14 phone numbers, a can of mountain dew, a North Dakota License plate and a pair of panties, yes my friends, the very panties that belonged to the crazy lady. The panties contained a note:
"Dear Jean Francois. How can a woman be so wrong, forgive me and of course you are granted access to the ass and perhaps immediately after the ass, the mouth"
I am
Asian stereotypes
Hahaha maybe you are my friends! I have collated several situations and skills that if you do too many of them it may startle you to know that you are in fact Asian. Of course, for the benefit of the Asian readers, you should recognize many of these things and that's all about it, or of course I would be very wonder!
You may be Asian if:
* You currently own a shuttlecock
* You have gotten past level 4 on 'Dance, dance revolution' (See above)
* You live with 13 relatives
* You own a checkered vest
* You're lactose intolerant
* You're convinced table tennis is a sport
* You applied and were accepted by 21 universities
* You can use chopsticks and text message at the same time
* You think Godzilla could beat King Kong in real life
* You own a modified moped
* You remember William Hung
* The oldest member of your household is 112 years of age
* You know what NIZMO stands for
Hmmmmn yes, interesting indeed
I am
Cameltoe
"Hello Jean Francois. I have been wondering lately, why all the fuss about the cameltoe? It has truly become a phenomenon. I have been looking at a lot of them on the net and still don't get it, is there something wrong with me?"
Frank the kosher butcher (NB)
Hello Frank. Yes my friend there is something wrong with you, the cameltoe is a gift which should be embraced and nurtured, but all is not lost.
From your letter I am assuming you simply haven't seen the right cameltoe's. So here is what I suggest:
Firstly, you need some dark sunglasses, a meatball sandwich and a suburban shopping center, in a low to medium income area. Remember not to confuse the gunt for the cameltoe either or your secret mission of despair is already doomed. The meatball sandwich actually serves as a 'creepiness fuse', the time it takes to eat the sandwich is about as long as you should spend in one place without generating suspicion and that's all about it.
Observe and enjoy your delicious sandwich.
I am
Frank the kosher butcher (NB)
Hello Frank. Yes my friend there is something wrong with you, the cameltoe is a gift which should be embraced and nurtured, but all is not lost.
From your letter I am assuming you simply haven't seen the right cameltoe's. So here is what I suggest:
Firstly, you need some dark sunglasses, a meatball sandwich and a suburban shopping center, in a low to medium income area. Remember not to confuse the gunt for the cameltoe either or your secret mission of despair is already doomed. The meatball sandwich actually serves as a 'creepiness fuse', the time it takes to eat the sandwich is about as long as you should spend in one place without generating suspicion and that's all about it.
Observe and enjoy your delicious sandwich.
I am
Penis enlargement
As I type here, believe me when I mention the seriousness of this topic. As my millions of fans are aware, Jean Francois has a perfectly groomed, strong, powerful cock that of course gives women the ultimate pleasure. This did not happen by accident my friends, I have been exercising and training the cock for many years and believe it or not, many of you have already been training your cocks and did not even know it! Also, many websites will charge you for this information, however all Jean Francois will charge you with is abuse if you don't use your new found inches for the good of mankind. As I collect my lab coat, sit with me now as I explain to you the cocksercise and these things.
Jelqing my friends is a centuries old technique to add genuine size to the man downstairs. It may come as girth, length or both, however jelqing requires a commitment of at least 15mins every other day.
The reason I suggest every other day is because like any exercise, your body requires a recovery period. Some people would suggest jelqing everyday, however you will limit growth over a long period and may in fact cause more harm than good. That being said, after an initial period you will develop more strength in the lap rocket.
Along with performing the following exercises I suggest drinking adequate amounts of water each day, minimum 1/2 gallon (2 liters) to ensure you are sufficiently hydrated. Taking a multivitamin, antioxidants including vitamins C and E are also ideal. I recommend at least 1000mgs of C and 500mg's of E. I also suggest taking an aspirin tablet the morning you are jelqing as this has a blood thinning effect and can therefore encourage even more blood into your junk. Last but not least, shaving the shaft will make the exercise easier.
The Jelq:
Get yourself some oil. Olive oil is fine. Almond oil is also good as it will absorb into your skin, but it is more expensive, however, can you put a price on having a giant sized cock? I suggest an oil over moisturizer or soap or shampoo as it is better for your skin with the friction you are about to inflict.
You should always warm up the cockle before you begin. This can be solved if you're jelqing in the shower by simply directing some water that way. I suggest if your in the shower to do some sideways hip movements to get it swinging from side to side, loosening the cock up. Do at least 30 side to siders my friends. If you're not doing this in the shower, get a warm towel and put it over the cock for a few minutes and then also do the side to siders.
You should notice your cock is now quite flaccid and pliable. (yes I said flaccid)This is no good. The cock should be 'semi- hard' for the jelq, around 60% is good. You can do this by fondling it a little, maybe just applying the oil will get some blood in there.
Now, as you can see from the picture at the top that is how you want your fingers and that's all about it. You should have oil on your hands and the cock should have oil on it from the base to the helmet. Now, having your pinky facing away from you place your fingers around the base of the cock with slight pressure. With your other hand ready slide your fingers up the cock, as you reach the top replace that hand with the other and repeat repeat repeat for, lets start with 50. (25 each hand) After the initial 50, do some more of those awesome side to siders, say another 20, to really fill it with blood. Repeat this whole process 4 times for a start of 200 jelqs along with the side swinging sweet thigh slappers. If you are starting to get harder than 60% do some more siders or just let it rest for a few moments. If the cock is too hard you may do some damage. If you do notice any inflamation or burst capillaries stop immediately and let the cock rest before resumming your jelqing routine.
You will notice even after your first session the cock seems 'fatter'. This should be motivation enough to continue this routine. A quick jelq prior to sex is also good to impress the lucky lady and for her to tell her friends of your enormous member. Perhaps even taking the antioxidants along with the aspirin 30 minutes prior to sex can aid in an erection. Jean Francois has some other products that he likes, you can perhaps email me for some supplements other than the ones I've mentioned that may in fact help the growth even further.
As a side note, Jean Francois has been performing these exercises for many years with no problems because Jean Francois is very conscious of the health of his cock do to the amount of ass he gets. The last thing I need is to not be able to perform because I was too vigorous in the shower. So realize that these are exercises and like any exercise should be done with caution and with long term results as the goal. Perhaps even keeping a diary and tape measure handy to record the growth. Jean Francois suggests you write it in code however and not "Cock size week 1 etc." as if this is stumbled upon you may make someone very wonder and find yourself with some explaining to do.
I am
Gay stereotypes
The reason I say 'your friends', is because if you are reading the scripture of Jean Francois then you are of course an alpha male and your sexuality was proven at the door and THAT is all about it. Jean Francois is a raging heterosexual and it is easy for him to spot these things without many wonders.
Now let me explain to you these things:
1. They know more than one mans phone number by heart
2. They don't have at least one photograph of them holding a dead animal
3. They have a calender in the garage that dose not have tits in it
4. They have mentioned clouds and have seen shapes in them
5. They use straws
6. They know the words to any coldplay song
7. They have never been slapped by a stripper
8. They think giving your dog pigs ears is 'icky'
9. They use change rooms
10. They appear confused when you mention a Dirty Sanchez
11. They have turned up to your home in a cycling outfit
12. They own a speedo
13. They have more than two girls numbers in their phone that they haven't fucked, or at least tried to.
14. Have never been beaten by a women. This generally follows the fucking of one of her friends. (Alpha male)
15. They have ever ordered a drink that resembles the one in the picture above
16. They don't know any swear words in another language
17. Have never tried to hit on your sister
18. They wear gloves when they work on the car
19. They know wear the laundry soap is
20. Have thought it was OK to sleep head to toe
These are some things that I have studied over many years my friends, In fact, if your friend cannot vouch for at least 10 of these things than he is of course a the gay.
I am
How to be cool
Here are just some fun rules that Jean Francois lives by. Enjoy them now with me if you please!
Fishing: Always go fishing with at least one women because then you may be able to have a fuck with her
Receiving the head while driving: This is a very important part of early relationship building. Humiliate her by pulling alongside truckers though to keep her in line.
Cumming in the ass: This is of course natural as when you fuck you will cum.
Not cumming: It was of course her fault
Hang gliding: Is stupid
Carrying the groceries: What are you doing at the supermarket girlyman?
Reverse parking: Is what defines a man
Crying: Have you ever been so upset that you got in your car, put on a favorite old song, sung it at the top of your lungs and cried? Jean Francois has not.
Eating the pussy: It doesn't matter if you're any good, the end
Snow skiing: Is so much very awesome!
Farting: The only time farting is inappropriate is when it is done by women.
Dating: Dating is of course a sex interview. If you do the right things you will have sex with that person. Of course when you have sex with that person is determined by how well you go at the interview. Jean Francois says very little during the date portion of the sex. I call it that because Jean Francois always gets the sex.
Smoking: IS cool
Sailing: This is a guaranteed aphrodisiac. Sun, champagne, let her 'steer' for 10 minutes, suggest she take off her top....Ass
Hybrid cars: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I am
Pick up lines
Hello my friends. Today I come to you with some handy hints and tips to meet the woman of your dreams and perhaps your friends dreams so therefore they will be jealous and you will of course be closer to being not unlike Jean Francois, as an Alpha Male and that's all about it.
Sit with me now as I share with you these things.
Do you like the beautiful girls in the bikinis? Yes I'm sure you do, as of course I do. Jean Francois has slept with many many women so do not be afraid if as you read my scriptures that it occurs to you that I have in fact sodomized your wife, daughter, mother, girlfriend or perhaps even been inside the ass of your sister.
In the 175 years that Jean Francois has been cursed with this beauty he has many many stories and of course, the experiences of luring women into, or I should say onto, the cock of destiny.
Tip one:
Jean Francois is of course VERY confident that he can sleep with any woman he chooses. Women see this and understand it, in fact I believe the women can smell the confidence. So it is for this that women will sleep with me before their friends do so to speak. One way to do this is to go up to a group of women, select the least pretty of the bunch and show her much attention. Of course the prettier girls will not understand this as they generally receive all the attention. The unpretty girls are in fact placed in that group to serve a role and that role has been breached and it sends them into vagina DEFCON 4.
Talk to the poor ugly girl, ask her questions, recall, she will be quite unaccustomed to this and may appear stand offish, trust me, she is wetter than a sunken ships sink full of dirty dish water.
Do not anticipate to have the sex with this pigdog as you will soon learn that she is not 'hygienic' at this present time and has probably only shaved to her knees and elbows. What lies beneath those clothes besides the hideous underwear is something so hairy and pimpled that Jean Francois dose not dare imagine.
As you chat away, notice the body language of the prettier friends, perhaps not the prettiest as she is an idiot and then ask your tragic triumph to join you for a walk. This will of course give the other girls some time to discuss this completely out of the ordinary occurrence. Return no more than 10 minutes later, give the impression the girl talked about her friends and make eye contact with one that you would like to put the cock into, perhaps even brush her arm, make some kind of physical connection.
From here my friends you must make a decision, I suggest leaving the group. This will of course give them a chance to quiz the girl on what you discussed on your walk.
As a side note, this technique also works in many situations, including a bar and a out door music festival.
You may be asking yourself in turn asking "Jean Francois, why not just go up to the girl you like right off the bat"? It's quite simple, you are not Jean Francois my friends. This procedure takes all of 30 minutes and is well worth it and that's all about it.
I am
Sexy naked woman *cont.*
Today I return to you
my friends, with the conclusion to the story of 'bone woman'.
As I left yesterday I took out, the big syringe. It was time for 'cleaning'. I must tell you, as beautiful as this girl was, it took all 125lbs of the precious creek water to get her adequately clean. The ass was caked closed, all but a toothpick could fit through the tiny exit chute. Like a Mexican plasterers rusty spatula, the stick I enlisted was deemed useless by completion.
It is now that I tell her she is ready. She tells me "Tukken tuk en tuk nukken". To my surprise she opens her smokey thighs. It is for this I reply "I will tuck my trunk in your nukken". She giggled and reached for the cock.
Her tiny vagina was waiting for me, on closer inspection it smelt of her ass. All of the waste I had cleared from the backdoor was now settled a top her muddy mound. I refused and instructed 'Jenny' to bring me another 100lbs of water. The towns creek was no more than 5 miles away.
I felt guilty using 4 days of the towns water to prepare the ass for my pleasure, but I tell you my friends, I was leaving in the morning!
She returned to the tent exhausted and weak, however I had been sleeping for the 7 hours she had been gone and clearly had enough energy for the two of us.
It was time to test my theory. I began in the ass and was everything Jean Francois had imagined. After several minutes she was still dry, this was my cue and that's all about it. I removed the cock and it is for this I held it before her face. She new the drill, ass to mouth, step one was complete. I don't know if it was the instincts or the single corn kernel but she sucked on the cock for almost 10 minutes. This was enough preparation to go back to the ass. Now, like a ski jump she perched her tiny ass skyward. I re-entered her atmosphere. The vagina still untouched, it's tears of wanton neglect were all the way to her knee.
Of course I went back to mouth again. And left the pussy yearning.
After her wonderful experience we slept with her ass as far from my face as possible. 19 years of bad hygiene cannot be instantly solved with 225lb's of creek water my friends.
The next morning the helicopter arrived to collect Jean Francois and return me to beautiful Monaco. As we lifted off I looked down and saw tiny Jenny running naked after the chopper. I waved and looked back at the tent and saw the village chief coming out holding the big syringe shaking his fist at Jean Francois! I laughed and got comfortable as the chopper turned into the sunrise.
It was lucky we were there when we were, I heard that the tiny town just outside of Rio was engulfed by a mudslide, due to a lack of water holding the creek banks. Everyone was buried alive. But Jean Francois sleeps at night knowing that a little naked native named 'Jenny' had ultimate pleasure before her demise and it is for this that I am very wonder about my next adventure!
I am
Sexy naked woman
Bonjour my friends. I have been away on a very dangerous adventure but I now return to you with stories of passion.
For me to tell you this story, it is for this my friends, it is for this. As you may know, Jean Francois has a penchant for native girls. To me, I find nothing more beautiful that a naked teen with 90lbs of fruit and water balanced a top of her head trudging up a muddy slope. I find this time very appropriate to feel the breast and ass.
One time while filming on location in a small town outside of Rio. I ordered room service to my flimsy see through tent. I was becoming changed when my 125lbs of water arrived. I said to the girl "you may rest" Of course I was completely naked and the cock was jutting from my waist like a water skiers tired arm. (a little to the left) She was a 19 year old naked native with a bone through her nose. On this night Jean Francois will add another bone to that pretty face.
In the candle light I could make out a name tag hanging form a viney necklace. It read Jenny. "Hello Jenny, I am Jean Francois". She was perfectly shaved and tanned and her tiny ass was like two drops of mercury meeting for the first time. Her waist would of been no more than 22 inches even at her height of 5'8". The tits were what I would call phenomenal with dark small nipples. She was physically perfect, with sinewy muscles and an tight virginal looking ass. Was ass to mouth popular in the jungle? I was about to discover the truth!
It was time for her to discover what the 125lbs of water was for.
I went to my suitcase and took out
the 'big' syringe.
She was now ready.
To be continued.........
I am
How to meet women
Hello friends. In these days of 'power women' we must unite to remain the dominant species. I find the best way to achieve this
is ass to mouth.
Let me tell you a story of one ass and a mouth. I met this girl, her name I only tell you, my friends, was Jacqueline. To me she was beautiful, athletic and she had the scent of a single rose, so subtle and yet so sweet. She was a powerful woman and very confidant. To me, I find this repulsive, yet challenging. I think to myself, "Jean Francois, such a beautiful strong woman will not take the cock into the mouth after the ass!" To this I replied to myself "I would like to rip a hole through her tiny shorts and put the cock inside the ass dry, then to the mouth and then back into the ass". I was convinced.
So I walk up to this girl and I tell her that Jean Francois would like to put the cock in her ass. She says to me "My ass is exit only Jean Francois-god to women everywhere". (true!) I touched her face then brushed her nipple, she gasped.............The ass was mine.
For such a delicate proceedure I suggested we go to my beautiful car where she can change into a tiny yellow bikini. I watched through the mirror, you know, while I had some beer. She asked me for some beer and lent forward, her p***y was bursting at the seams of the tiny bikini and one of the tits was already exposed. I took it in my hand and put the beer on her lower back. I told her to stay in that position and to not let the bottle fall. I got in the back and put the cock into the ass. After several minutes it was time to go for the mouth. I had some beer and she turned to me and like a labrador on peanut butter took all of the cock. I went back to ass. Success.
The moral to this storey is that the women should always take it in the ass. If she is not
you have failed as a man.
I am
Sexy bikini model
It was in fact this day that I wish to speak of. I often drive my beautiful car along the beach where I meet so many beautiful girls. I said to this girl at the stop lights you know, how beautiful her eyes were and how full her tits were. She begged me to take her right there at the red light, but I declined.
I asked her to drive with me back to the chateau where I would make love to her throughout the night.
After a glass of beautiful champagne and strawberries it was time for the f**king to commence.
I was so deep in her ass my balls were pushed back horizontal! At this point it was time for her to take my load of love in her mouth. Like a hungary baby calf my love tools were spit polished.
I am
I asked her to drive with me back to the chateau where I would make love to her throughout the night.
After a glass of beautiful champagne and strawberries it was time for the f**king to commence.
I was so deep in her ass my balls were pushed back horizontal! At this point it was time for her to take my load of love in her mouth. Like a hungary baby calf my love tools were spit polished.
I am
Gym sex
hahaha yes it's true, there are many things that Jean Francois has lifted above the head
let me tell you these things:
a boat
a fiat
a carton of water bottles
to me this is just another day of lifting things above the head. Yesterday Jean Francois did 6 sets of lifting things above the head, utilizing weider principle 9 *negatives*
It was while Jean Francois was holding 17 phone books above the head that Pauline the personal trainer with a cert iv in boxing instruction noticed the packet of Du Maurier king size tucked into the pant.
Jean Francois has learned the ancient art of cumming with one testicle at a time, I could cum now from my left testicle and then cum from my right in a week if I so please, however
I please to cum now from both testes inside Pauline's shit shoot
Jean Francois throws the phonebooks against the mirror and removes the custom 'I am Jean Francois' lifting belt, releasing the stomach of desire from its clutches.
Pauline suffers a dizzy spell
Jean Francois lets her fall
Pauline awakens, her ass filled with two testicles worth of Jean juice and a cigarette behind her ear.
I am
let me tell you these things:
a boat
a fiat
a carton of water bottles
to me this is just another day of lifting things above the head. Yesterday Jean Francois did 6 sets of lifting things above the head, utilizing weider principle 9 *negatives*
It was while Jean Francois was holding 17 phone books above the head that Pauline the personal trainer with a cert iv in boxing instruction noticed the packet of Du Maurier king size tucked into the pant.
Jean Francois has learned the ancient art of cumming with one testicle at a time, I could cum now from my left testicle and then cum from my right in a week if I so please, however
I please to cum now from both testes inside Pauline's shit shoot
Jean Francois throws the phonebooks against the mirror and removes the custom 'I am Jean Francois' lifting belt, releasing the stomach of desire from its clutches.
Pauline suffers a dizzy spell
Jean Francois lets her fall
Pauline awakens, her ass filled with two testicles worth of Jean juice and a cigarette behind her ear.
I am
Sexy ass
hahaha eyes are wonderful things deicide, it is for this that, this thread reminds me of the patch wearing veterinary nurse nymphomaniac Chloe Anne
let me explain to you these things
Jean Francois loves the pussy hahaha you know my friends!
But in all seriousness I also love the ass, in particular the anus.
Now let me forget these things and remind myself of Chloe Anne.
Of course at first site she seemed like a deformed monster with her patch and stethoscope however being a man of reason and low standards of course I imagined her without the patch and my friends it was everything I imagined.
"Jean Francois" I whisper, my fly on the designer jeans wide open, revealing a hint of helmet.
I reached for the thermometer in her bosom pocket and placed it inside the pant
97 degrees at inch number 8, (4 inches below the helmet)
For those of you that are unaware, Jean Francois has a measuring device tattooed on the right side of the cock for convenience and reference.
It was at this moment Chloe Anne opened her tiny white smock to reveal a patch over her left breasticle.
Of course I found this odd, as the eye patch covered the right? I lifted the patch to reveal a dual nippler, very rare in the western world.
With Chloe Ann's 3 nipples and 1 eye, even as drunk as Jean Francois was he was prepared to only allow her the pleasure of a Jean Francois ass invasion.
Thanks for the memories Deicide
I am
let me explain to you these things
Jean Francois loves the pussy hahaha you know my friends!
But in all seriousness I also love the ass, in particular the anus.
Now let me forget these things and remind myself of Chloe Anne.
Of course at first site she seemed like a deformed monster with her patch and stethoscope however being a man of reason and low standards of course I imagined her without the patch and my friends it was everything I imagined.
"Jean Francois" I whisper, my fly on the designer jeans wide open, revealing a hint of helmet.
I reached for the thermometer in her bosom pocket and placed it inside the pant
97 degrees at inch number 8, (4 inches below the helmet)
For those of you that are unaware, Jean Francois has a measuring device tattooed on the right side of the cock for convenience and reference.
It was at this moment Chloe Anne opened her tiny white smock to reveal a patch over her left breasticle.
Of course I found this odd, as the eye patch covered the right? I lifted the patch to reveal a dual nippler, very rare in the western world.
With Chloe Ann's 3 nipples and 1 eye, even as drunk as Jean Francois was he was prepared to only allow her the pleasure of a Jean Francois ass invasion.
Thanks for the memories Deicide
I am
Snow Bunny sex
You may remember Marie Claude......my first love who was tragically killed whilst skiing alpes du nord with her twin sister Marie Claire? Their beauty melting the snow around them turning it to ice and allowing Jean Francois a peak under their elf costumes?
Before I tell you this amazing story my friend you must remember the heartache that these memories stir deep inside Jean Francois Papion!
I was spending a week at my chalet not 20 miles from where the tragedy took place. I took only you know the bare supplies, my ski suit, champagne, and 27 robes...oh and of course a bath bomb from the body shop where I met Claudine Michel the 17 year old clerk who smelt of the finest strawberries. I said to her hello my love
I am
Je an Francois Papion
It was for this that she wept in my arms and Jean Francois received the Bath Bomb for cost
I am
Before I tell you this amazing story my friend you must remember the heartache that these memories stir deep inside Jean Francois Papion!
I was spending a week at my chalet not 20 miles from where the tragedy took place. I took only you know the bare supplies, my ski suit, champagne, and 27 robes...oh and of course a bath bomb from the body shop where I met Claudine Michel the 17 year old clerk who smelt of the finest strawberries. I said to her hello my love
I am
Je an Francois Papion
It was for this that she wept in my arms and Jean Francois received the Bath Bomb for cost
I am
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