I was in the gym on Saturday and while walking on the treadmill smoking a cigarette the woman in front of me turned in disgust.
I said to her "Hello, I am Jean Francois" as I motored along at level 3, incline 2. (Working the hams and glutes)
This did not sway her and she was very upset, let it be known I was very upset by the amount of perfume and makeup she was wearing, but Jean Francois does not hate.
She bellowed at Jean Francois "I know who you are, Jean Francois god of men, but I don't care! You can't smoke in the gym, especially on the cardio equipment!" I was surprised she didn't mention that I was also drinking a beer and wearing a "Go fuck yourself lady!" T-shirt.
As I kept trudging along adjusting my custom "I am Jean Francois" lifting belt, a crowd was gathering because of the raucous. I waved to all my friends as they perched around the equipment. Sarah Jane, the sub-letting masseuse with the most amazing ass in Capri's was of course furious at this woman's contempt and fluorescent outfit!
I stamped out my cigarette and as it flew off the back of the treadmill, the crazy lady grabbed her towel and stormed off to get the gym manager; Clark, the overweight part time bouncer and gardening expert.
Clark and I have been friends for several years as I say to him "Hello Clark, I am Jean Francois". He asks what the problem is, of course Jean Francois see's no problem as I am a man of peace and ass to mouth.
The woman hides behind Clark, watching Jean Francois like an eagle crossed with a hawk, yes my friends, she wants it bad.
I slow the treadmill to one mile per hour, take off my headphones and turn suddenly, a gasp comes over the crowd, the beauty of Jean Francois is intoxicating I know. A baby cries, why is there a baby on the smith machine...a woman drops to her knees; a natural reaction my friends. I toss beetles wrapped in candy wrappers to the crowd while screaming in a made up language, holding a shell to my ear listening to the ocean and kicking at the air with ferocity!!!
I did this for 11 minutes, then dismounted the treadmill while it was still operating with smoothness.
As Jean Francois walked through the dazed mob, I was handed 14 phone numbers, a can of mountain dew, a North Dakota License plate and a pair of panties, yes my friends, the very panties that belonged to the crazy lady. The panties contained a note:
"Dear Jean Francois. How can a woman be so wrong, forgive me and of course you are granted access to the ass and perhaps immediately after the ass, the mouth"
I am
